Yup, every year it's the same thing. You look forward to St. Patrick's Day because it's one of the few holidays of the year where you're encouraged to drink beer in massive quantities, get wasted, be obnoxious, hook up with someone you'll regret the next morning and potentially offend all your friends.
What could be better than that?
Well not so fast my friend.
"Are you wearing green?"
"No, why do you ask?... OUCH!! What the Fuck?!!!"
Next thing you know some jackass pinches you in places you would never want a loser like that to even look at.
Of course you could always try the old dodge...
"I've got green underwear on."
"Prove it."
Crap.
Well my friend, this would not have happened if you had gotten yourself a snazzy St Patty's Day tee. Kick back and enjoy, as we look at some of the best t-shirts to wear to celebrate the wearin' of the green!
Best T-Shirt for Natural Redhead Irish Girls
"Irish Girl!" This shirt is a clever parody of the Sopranos' Bada Bing strip club logo that highlights Irish pride, shamrocks, beautiful girls, natural redheads, and general flirtiness all in one fell swoop. You've got a touch of green, so you wear it for your St. Pats party and year round... if you're Irish, female, red haired, and hot or any combination thereof.
Best T-Shirt for Blonde Irish Girls
Hey, we can't all be hot gingers. This shirt is a nice also-ran for the blondes and brunettes. You've got the "Irish Girl!" text with the mudflap girl silhouette in green.
Best T-Shirt for Hooking Up
This shirt works for both girls and guys. "I'm Magically Delicious" It's a great conversation starter. "I'll show my pink heart if you let me see your yellow moon." or "Check out my purple horseshoe!" Everyone will be after your lucky charms. Even Dane Cook could get laid with this shirt.
Best Shirt for Nerds that Know How to Party
Duff Green! Nothing gives you street cred like Simpson's references. Remember when Homer took the tour of Duff Gardens brewing facilities and we saw that Duff, Duff Lite, Duff Dry and Skittlebrau all drew from the same tap? Hilarious. Well we know that DuffMan loves to party and get his Irish on. Enter Duff Green!
Best Shirt for Hardcore Party People
Lucky Keg Stand T-Shirt. This shirt is for year round partiers. Spring Break, Cinco De Mayo, Halloween, you name it. If there's a party, this is the shirt to wear.
Best Shirt Belligerant Drunks Who Like to Start Fights
You know that guy. He's probably about 5 feet tall, chain smokes and takes everything personally. You put your life on the line every time you go to the bar with him 'cause he expects you to "back him up" - not because he needs any help but because that what friends do. He may not be an Irishman, but he probably drinks like one. That cheeky little leprechaun!
Best T-Shirt for Smart Asses
"I Pissed on the Blarney Stone" Every day tourists travel thousands of miles to kiss the Blarney Stone, a block of bluestone built into the battlements of Blarney Castle in County Cork, Ireland. According to legend, kissing the stone endows the kisser with the gift of gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery). What those hapless touristas don't realize is that the night before, the locals get tanked at their local pub on Guinness and Irish whiskey and stop by the castle to relieve themselves on the county's most famous tourist attraction. The next day, the hungover locals howl with laughter as fat pale tourists delight in pressing their lips to the stone only to turn their nose when they encounter the acrid smell of stale urine.
You could be that guy. Or at least claim you are with this classic t-shirt.
